The first time we met,
It was comforting to see your smile reach all the way to your eyes.
The gentle way you encouraged our minds to meet,
And did not treat me as yesterday’s baggage—
Thrown forgotten in a corner until convenient to unpack.
You stopped mid-act the first time we made love,
Seeing the hidden pain of past memory on my face,
Willing to do whatever I needed.
It is one of my most treasured moments:
To be given humanity without resentment or dismissal.
As we explored this thing called relationship, neither certain for different reasons,
I fell in love with you despite you, you old grump.
Always wary of one of us dropping the other shoe, doubt was often my bedfellow.
How to love you when subconsciously it felt likely we would not be forever?
Unselfishly.
You are not mine, and I am not yours—this is the reality.
Your pain now consumes you and mine clarifies my intent.
Thank you for the blessing of joining my life for a while.
You will be missed, but the lessons you taught will be with me forever.
To value myself and my time, to stand up for what is right,
To see my own loveability and recognize when fault is not my own.
You freed me as much as—or perhaps more than—you have hurt me: tremendously.
For you, I wish nothing but the sincerest best
That you find your true North and leave behind the weight you so stubbornly carry alone.
May stars and spirits bring you home to rest in the beauty of your soul
And not in the confusions of your mind.
